Ask me anything about pregnancy. I was pregnant 18 of 21 months. Surely that gives me "expert" creditials. Ask me anything about breastfeeding. I breastfed 25 consecutive months, 2 babies back to back, one month tandem. I know breastfeeding. I've even developed "medical" skills...from fevers to coughs to skin irritations. I know my kids, I know kids in general. When Lily was 2, I knew she had a broken arm. I told 2 different doctors and went through 2 sets of x-rays before an orthopedic specialist, 2 weeks later, validated what I aleady knew. I don't claim to be a perfect mom by any stretch of the imagination, but at the very least, I've gotten comfortable in my mom-skin. I'm a newborn-infant-toddler-preschool-pro.

But tomorrow I'll drive Lily to kindergarten, and I am at best, an eager rookie. I want to do and say the right things, introduce the right routines, set a positive tone for the next 13 years...but I haven't a clue. How long will it take her to get ready in the mornings? Should she eat and then dress or dress and then eat? How long will our 3 mile drive to school take considering drop-off traffic? How will she know what to do on the bus in the afternoons? Should she do homework then play or play and then do homework? Do I give her a push or pull her in tighter? I'm at a loss. In the course of her day, there will be things she needs to know and questions she'll have and I won't be the one to answer them.

We did the half-day preschool thing, and we had a good gig...up during Clifford, dressing during Dragon Tales. That was our routine. She can't tell time so that was the best way I knew for her to have some control of and responsibility for her morning routine. But that was 8:30 in the morning, 6:30, with a full day to follow, is a whole new ball game. It's going to be trial and error as we figure this stuff out, only I don't want to make an error. I could use some Clifford the Big Red Dog right about now. The soothing, familiar voice of John Ritter (who voiced Clifford) might do me some good. Or maybe I should go for the strong stuff and find a Three's Company rerun.

I'm not freaking out. Really, I'm not. We met some new neighbors today and it's so obvious that Lily is ready, willing and able to meet and make new friends. She wants to spread her little wings and leave the nest, for brief periods of time at least. And I want her to, I do. She has a lot of living to do in this big world, a destiny to fulfill, a calling to capture. She can't stay "home" forever. So why is school such a big deal? It's time for me to share her with the world, and once I do, I can never go back. There is no rewind, and no time-out. She will have as much life away from me as with me, and one day, more life away from me than with me. I won't be her whole world anymore, and yet she'll always be mine. Hardly seems fair.

She's ready. Not a single moment of anxiety or fear about school. When I ask if she has any questions, she looks at me like I'm the one confused...I think she knows she's got a rookie for a mom. Luckily she's quite certain she's got it all figured out.