What if...

Life is a head cold, settling into a miserable chest cold, on the day of your son's preschool orientation, which is on the day of your daughter's kindergarten orientation, which is on the day of a leadership meeting, which is on the day a nail pops your tire. Remember when it was just a board game where you picked your car and filled it with plastic pink and blue pegs for your husband and your twins?

Sunday at church, Kelly told me how much she enjoyed our chat at a baby shower we'd both attended Friday. She said something along the lines of: It was great to talk to you Friday. I just love spending time with you, everybody does. My response, which popped out a little too quickly with too little thought and probably too much truth: I'm not as nice as people think I am. Where did that come from? And did I really just say that out loud in the check-in line at church? Luckily, Kelly is full of grace, she laughed a little and said I'm just honest and real. The real me? Hmmmm.

I have a temper, a bad one. I'm like a dormant volcano, warm and bubbly most of the time but when all conditions are right (or should I say wrong) I can blow my top. You'll probably never see this side of me. I'm quite skilled at "depravity management" as John Ortberg calls it. The people I love the most, David and the kids, are the only one I usually burn with my hot lava temper tantrums.

I wait to clean the house until someone is coming over or we can no longer find the children. I rarely clean for cleaning's sake. My small group has starting meeting here once a week so I at least rearrange the mess that often. I do a toy round up nightly, even if it's just to the stairs and almost always go to bed with a clean sink (I can't stand dirty dishes) but mopping, dusting and vacuuming the stairs are guest-only chores. (And FYI small-groupers are not considered guests!)

If you're sick or going through a tough time, I will think of calling, sending a note of encouragement and/or cooking a meal. I'll really want to and have the best intentions but chances are I won't do any of the above. No good excuse, I tell myself if I call the phone will wake you from the best nap you've ever had or if I cook it won't taste good...I usually do write a note, but don't have stamps to mail it. I just stink at this stuff.

I can be very moody. I pick fights with David, fuss at the kids too much for no good reason. This is different than my temper. Moody is chronic, as in long-lasting, temper is acute, strong but short lived.

I can manipulate almost any situation to make me the victim.

I have to be right.

Is this too much honesty? This may be too much. It's late and I'm a still a little sick. I'll post it with the disclaimer that I may be under the influence of cold medicine. I just felt the need to be transparent.

Here's what you need to know: If I do control my temper, if I do say the right thing at the right time, if I do come through with tangible or emotional support when you need it, and if I ever relinquish my right to be right in the name of love or forgiveness, you are seeing Jesus in me because those things are not natural to me. For me to get it right means I have died to self, at least in that moment. My goal is to connect more and more of those moments.

And if my floor is mopped, you're either a guest, or you've just spilled something.

It's all over. Like ripping off a band-aid. Say goodbye quickly, don't hesitate or look back...just bolt for the door and choke back the tears. Only, I did hesitate, I did look back, but I was able to choke back tears. And today was just our "practice" run, her staggered-entry day, no assigned teacher or classroom yet. I dropped Lily off in the school's auditorium with about 50 other kindergartners, listened to a 6 minute talk about what the day will hold... snack, recess, learning the lunch line, assessments. And then we said goodbye. Today she left me, felt a little better than the other way around. Blue stickers and yellow stickers, divided into two groups, lined up and out the door. Luke and I yelled goodbye and waved animatedly as if she were boarding a cruise. She gave me a half hearted kiss and limp high five as we separated. She is not into public displays of affection. She gets that from her dad.

We left the house 5 minutes later than we should have, traffic was terrible, and just before we parted I accidentally poked her between the eyes with my finger nail which caused a brief moment of drama...but we made it.

On the walk back to the car Luke said, Mom, don't you miss Lil?

Yeah buddy. I do.

Sunday: 2800 people attended Elevation yesterday!

Monday: I have a bad head cold.

Sunday: We launched a new curriculum with full stage production in Quest. It turned out great and we served 70 kids in our room!

Monday: David also has a bad head cold, he's home sick.

Sunday: Worship services rocked! An amazing message from Pastor SF addressing church growth, exciting news about plans to directly address Elevation's explosive growth, and great music.

Monday: Stripping pee pee sheets off the bed before I've even had my cup of coffee.

Sunday: I took a great nap with my honey, we love Sunday afternoon naps.

Monday: I had trouble getting out of bed when the alarm went off due to my cold medicine hangover.

Sunday: It rainied, we needed the rain. My flowers and grass are looking much better than this time last week.

Monday: David headed to work to open up despite his bad cold, and his car broke down on the way. Bad cold and car breakdown.

David's headed home.

No alarm tomorrow morning.

I love Fridays.

It's after midnight and I'm just getting in from pulling a late night at the church office. A good, productive night...I should crash but I'm a little hyped up on caffeine. The rain put a kink in a few projects, but we really needed the rain so I hate to complain. The house is quiet, David and the kids have long since gone to bed. Here's what's going on:

This Sunday we are launching a new curriculum in Quest and it's amazing! Quest is the area in which I serve as director, serving ages 3-K. Elevation's E-kidz has always been great, but we're taking things to a new level. In Quest, this means a full stage production with music, graphics, games...lots of fun, all reinforcing the truths of the Bible. The kids are going to eat this stuff up and families are going to be thrilled to bring their little ones to this exciting ministry. Most of all, God is going to be glorified by the offering of time from the many volunteers involved, He will be worshipped in such a manner that truly engages the little ones and young lives will be changed as they learn about Jesus.

I could never list all the staff and volunteers involved in pulling this off, so I won't even try. I work along side a tremendous volunteer team, under dedicated staff. But there are a couple fellas I want to give some kudos to on this very late night. Curt and David...your names will never even appear on a Quest volunteer list, but this couldn't happen without you! I've been out of the house 7 of the last 9 evenings. David and I communicate via email and cell phone, we pass in the foyer as he heads in and I head out. I know Gina and Curt are in the same boat...or should I say ship, as in two ships passing in the night. And I know I can speak for Gina too when I say we miss our fellas.

Now before anyone gets too concerned, you have to know that both our families place a high priority on time together. And our church reinforces that commitment. Family is greatly valued, God created the family before He created the church. We know that. These are unusual times for extraordinary circumstances. It won't always be this hectic. But for these past two weeks, and possibly more here and there in the future, our guys have pulled double duty. Work all day, Mr. Mom all evening. God knows you're tired. We are too. Thanks guys, you're the unsung heroes of E-kidz! Serving your own family in this capacity ultimately allows hundreds of other families to be served in the name of Jesus.

I had plans for a completely different post, and I'll get to that later, but not before I share one of my "joy of mothering" moments. About an hour ago, Lily got gum in her hair. She was eating herb & garlic chips, courtesy of Gina, and chewing hard Halloween goodie type gum, also courtesy of Gina. Okay, so basically I blame Gina. Somehow the gum ended up in the hair, full of crumbs and green bits of herb. At first it dangled, just barely on the edge, easily trimmed out, but by the time I could get Lily near the scissors, she had smushed it in. This all went down at our church office and a friend there recommended peanut butter, so I paper clipped the affected chunk of hair and headed home. I happen to be out of creamy peanut butter and although Gina had given me some great creamy organic peanut butter today, I was afraid it wouldn't be oily enough. So we opted for our jar of crunchy. Lily then had gum, full of herby crumbs and now peanuts. I assume the oil in the peanut butter is what helps get the gum out so if a little peanut butter oil helps, how much better to add some olive oil to the mix? Herb, garlic, nuts and olive oil...the child had a salad in her hair...all held tightly together with gum. I envisioned the gum becoming oily and loose, enabling me to pick it out but what actually happened is we created a sticky, stinky paste that required dish liquid to wash out. After rinsing her now lemon-scented hair, we followed with two rounds of Strawberry Suave Smoothers shampoo for kids. I think we have successfully removed the gum! And her hair was able to top off the salad with a lemon-strawberry smoothie. She should have one happy head of hair.

P.S. I don't always leave Gina's with so many food items, we must have looked hungry today!

My brother, Ray, celebrated his birthday last Friday. I was a loser and didn't call. (I thought he was at Disney with his family, turns out they were home sick) Sorry I didn't call Ray, and sorry you were sick! My sister, Lisa, celebrates her birthday today. I will try to call!

I really have great siblings. They are fantastic, funny people and I genuinely enjoy spending time with them, not everyone says that about their siblings. They invest in others and make great contributions to our family and society. He's a sheriff's deputy, she's an elementary school teacher. They love their spouses, kids, God and our big, crazy family. I miss them terribly but they've both been great about visiting. It's not easy to drop everything and travel 600 miles but they've both done it multiple times. They make my family a priority in their lives, and that means the world to me and my kids.


FYI...neither of them is 23, right, Ray!?!

Okay, here's my confession for the day. I have a thing for tattoos. I know, I know. Completely inappropriate for this mother of two, preschool ministry director, small group leader. Five years ago I was as close to getting one as I'll probably ever be, a friend and I were going to go together...and then I found out I was pregnant. The thought of hepatitis is even less appealing when you're expecting. I was thinking of a little shamrock, I'm not Irish that I'm aware of, but "Erin" means Ireleand so it seemed to fit, oh well. My tattoo energy has since turned to David. I'd rather him have one, I don't like needles anyway. I've tried multiple times to talk him into getting one, something on his arm or back. Is this post causing anyone to rethink bringing their child to my room on Sunday? Are tattoos a taboo?

So the above pic arrives in my email inbox today. A friend who knows my dark little tattoo loving secret sent it to me. I've yet to ask how or why she happened upon this picture. Regardless, David now has a pic to take the tat artist when he goes :)

Stupid is a bad word in our house. We just don't say it. Well, at least we try not to. It's on the list with words like crap, sucks, idiot, shut up...words that flowed freely from my mouth a decade or two ago, much to my mom's dismay. Words that aren't "lady like" or appropriate for young mouths. Today, I'm gonna break a house rule because I feel stupid...and a word like dumb or silly doesn't cut how I'm feeling. I made a stupid mistake that really only cost our family time, gas money and aggravation, along with 2 very disappointed kids. But it also left me deep in a funk of sadness and self-loathing, and then I feel stupid for feeling so stupid. Ever been there?

Here's what went down: David and I have been discussing taking the kids to Carowinds this summer. Lily has been wanting to go for months and Luke's up for anything that includes a bathing suit. We decided last week that our window of opportunity was quickly fading and we'd better take advantage of the twilight promotion, reduced priced tickets for evening hours. The kids are too small for many rides and wear out easily so we thought a shortened, late day visit would be perfect. We bought tickets on line, shared the good news with the kids and began the Carowinds countdown. We were all really excited, one last family outing for the summer. Only, somehow I got my dates confused and thought that today was an extended hour day at the park, open until 10pm. Not so. This week they close at 6pm. Our tickets aren't good until after 4pm. Not good. Kids were dressed in swim suits, SUV packed with extra clothes and towels, we were on our way to meet David, he'd already left work...and it hit me that today was the 20th not the 19th. Crap, how stupid! I felt like such an idiot...every no-no word I've got applies to today.

I just seem to do stuff like this way too often. Locking keys in my car...running out of gas...getting stuck in the mud on the side of the road where I ran out of gas...locking us out of the house...thinking I've locked us out and spending an hour in the rain watching David do daredevil stunts to get us back in, only to find the door unlocked all along...boarding a plane with my parking garage ticket when a friend is picking my vehicle up...confusing dates for Carowinds. The kind of thing that isn't life threatening, no one gets hurt (David was little sore after scaling the balcony), but I'm left with a stupid-hangover. Ever get one of those? Where you spend way too much time beating yourself up, asking yourself and God why you made such a lame mistake, wondering where it all went wrong? I become that girl all over again. The one who dated the wrong guys and wrecked too many cars. The girl that was certain everyone expected her to do the dumb thing and tried to prove otherwise, only to fall harder. The girl easily described as book smart but short on common sense...that girl. But maybe no one has ever really seen me as just that girl, maybe no one was ever banking on my failures and dumb mistakes. I now think the only one waiting to see me fail, and keeping track when I do, is Satan himself. Not to just see me make the mistake, but to watch what I do with it. To watch me get down, wallow in my self pity, be that girl. He's the only one telling me I'm still her, or that I ever even was her to begin with. The only one tallying my stupid quotient and whispering it in my ear. The only one waiting on a day like to day to remind me of the bad boyfriends, wrecked cars, locked doors, empty gas tank, failed amusement park trips...telling me I'll always be one stupid mistake shy of who I should be.

I know I need to blog. I like to read blogs that post daily. At this point, I wouldn't even want to read my own blog. But I got nothing.

Life is jammed packed right now, it's as if my brain is so full of stuff that a single coherent thought can't untangle itself from the web long enough to form a decent blog post.

I've been getting frequent headaches. I don't think it's any reason for concern, probably sinus. Probably the sweltering dry heat leading to excessive dust, leading to sinus issues. I'm not sure there is any medical basis for that self diagnosis, but it helps me sleep. I've got another headache tonight, and yes, Mama, I've taken something for it...just waiting for it to kick in. Since laughter is the best medicine, I thought I'd dwell on some things that really make me laugh.

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was "a salted." Get it? Oh, that one makes me laugh!

David used to drive a white truck and sometimes it got dirty, dirty, dirty. Rather than write the tired ol' Wash Me, a coworker wrote Also Comes in White on his tailgate. That's funny people, I still laugh about it years later...anytime I see Wash Me finger written on a tailgate or back window, just makes me laugh.

The Office. I laugh hard, in disbelief that they really said and did what they just said and did.

Andy. Kids are funny in general, but Andy really makes me laugh.

David offers to kill people for me. Should I not post that? I can be ranting about someone who's giving me grief and he'll just say, Want me to kill 'em? In print it seems harsh, but it's a clever way for him to diffuse my anger. Makes me laugh. He hasn't said it in awhile, I must be easier to get a long with th an I used to be.

Okay, the Tylenol is working, headache has faded...I'm headed to bed.

This morning Lily and I ate breakfast together outside on the patio. We seemed to find that very small window of time that the temperatture was pleasant. As we ate our Cheerios, I talked her through the next two weeks...today's kindergarten physical, next week's new bedtime, the following week's staggered entry day, and this and that in between. Her response was, Summer is over already?! I'm quick to feel the same way, over already? Where'd it go? Feels like there are too many summer destinations untraveled, from day trips exploring the great Carolinas to that antique market down the road. A less than tan...is that what my summer sums up to be? I so wanted Lily's pre-kindergarten summer to be carefree and full of fun. For the rest of her life, summer will be a countdown to back-to-school. I'm not sure we did enough this summer.

Elevation continues to grow at an unprecedented rate. Growth is by far our biggest problem right now. Of course I use the word "problem" lightly...it's a good problem to have! Our Pastor says the shoe doesn't tell the foot how big it can grow, and in turn, we won't allow our facility limitations to slow down what God is doing. This takes creativity and diligence...like I said, it's a good problem to have. Sunday's attendance was again over 2400. I was in Florida, and as wonderful as it was to have an opportunity to worship with my family, when I miss Elevation, I miss Elevation. I'll catch the video sermon online, you should too.

Now comes the unpacking. I hate unpacking. I know hate is a strong word. I hate unpacking. I will absolutely avoid it until I can no longer ignore it. When it's time to get the Christmas tree out and the suitcases are in the way, I'll unpack. Until then, I'll grab out what I need, when I need it and hold in curse words when I stub my toe on those big black cases. Or David will stub his toe, throw something, and maybe then I'll unpack.

Flying with the kids was great. When I get my camera out of the suitcase :) I'll put up some airline pics. The flight attendant took the kids up to meet the pilot and see the flight deck, very cool for them. FYI...we had a great experience on AirTran.

By far, the hardest part of our trips to Florida is always the "goodbye"...such an oxymoron that the word good be juxtaposed with bye. In the two years we've been "away" it hasn't gotten any easier. It always starts with the feeling that I really just need one more day. Just one more day and I'll be ready. And I know it's really time to come home, I miss David and the kids are saturated with fatigue, just dripping with weeks of fun and excitement, to the point behavior has become a ticking time bomb. Like I said, I know it's time to come home; but then I get to thinking, just one more day. I can tell Lily feels the same way. One breath is I miss Daddy, I want to go home....the next is teary-eyed, I don't want to go yet. That's exactly how I feel. And one more day won't fix things, it will just delay the inevitable goodbyes. And my list of goodbyes is a long one: in-laws, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and my parents. Over and over, I do the keep it casual, see you soon, as if I'm just around the corner, or at least that's how I'll act, so I don't cry all over you...no-good bye.

In my quiet time this morning, my mind kept coming back to those goodbyes. My prescribed Bible reading in the biographical plan I'm working through was Pilate, leading up to the crucifixion. Such a familiar story, it could be easy to breeze through and move onto the daily chores. But this morning, I am thanking God that of all the things His Son's death provides me: forgiveness of sin, righteousness in Him, eternal life...I am most thankful this morning that one day, there will be no more goodbye. This life will continue to be full of goodbyes, separated by distance, and death. The weight of that alone would be more than I could handle, just too overwhelming to face. Praise be to God, through eternal life in Christ, we have much more than a life of goodbyes to look forward to.

Holiday Inn Savannah, GA: $80 (cricket free with purchase)

Gas for two SUVs to rendezvous: $150

Airline tickets to and from FL: $320

Making summer memories that will last a lifetime - Priceless

Tomorrow is the big day, we head back to NC...on an airplane this time! The kids have been asking to fly for at least 2 years and now the time has come. I hope they're not disappointed. I personally like flying far less than I thought I would. I didn't take my first airplane ride until I was 22, and much to my dismay, flying makes me queasy. Not really sick, just not great. Despite the unpleasant feeling that accompanies flying, I will pick the short flight over the 10-12 hour drive any day.

As if kindergarten wasn't enough to push me over the edge, this latest milestone will surely do the job - Lily has her first loose tooth. I was in the shower this morning and she came running in the bathroom shouting, I have a loose tooth...for real! The for real was important because Lily has been claiming to have loose teeth off and on for months now, she's been anxious to reach this milestone. I wasn't concerned when she first made the dramatic annoucement, but after peeking out of the shower and seeing the wobbly tooth myself, I was certain that some type of blunt force trauma to her mouth had occurred. Surely she isn't old enough for this to be natural, so I screamed at her to go find her grandma, while I quickly rinsed my hair and jumped out of the shower. Was an ER visit on the horizon? I exited the bathroom to find both my mom and Lily smiling...apparently, it is time for this weird phenomenom of losing teeth to begin.

I'm still here...just 600 miles from where here usually is. Staying busy, kids are great. Florida is crazy hot but as long as the AC is working, I'm happy. I watched a little golf today with my father-in-law. It's got to be hot outside if watching golf is my activity of choice...no offense golf fans, just not my thing.

The kids and I are really missing David. These trips to Florida just aren't the same without him. He also happens to be the world's worst phone conversationalist...he'd be the first to tell you that so I'm not insulting him, just stating a fact. That means our communication is limited. I actually find myself checking in on him through other people I know he's been in contact with...did you know that, babe?

Gotta go...I'll post more of our FL adventures when I'm back at home. Strange to be posting from this end, missing my NC folk.

Tonight I had the pleasure of hanging out with a few of my favorite ladies. I hosted a Southern Living party and honestly by 6:00pm, party starting at 6:30, I was asking myself Why did I agree to do this? Looking at a catalog 6 weeks ago at Mindy's party and seeing all of the beautiful home decor I'd love to own but really shouldn't spend money on...I decided to host. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Then it turns out my party is the night before I fly to FL, suddenly not such a good idea...or at least, not good timing. The food, the paper products...it becomes an expense too. The inviting...will they or won't they come? By this afternoon, David was so tired of hearing me fuss that he made me promise to never, ever host a thing like this again. And I agreed.

But 6:30 rolls around and I begin to see a few smiling faces headed to the door. Ladies I love but rarely get to see...well, I may see them but it's in passing, with kids in tow, and places to be, and a "hello...I'm fine...let's get together..." is all we can squeeze in. So maybe a Southern Living party didn't enable me to fully catch up with every woman in the room but I got a little bit of unhurried time with each of them, which is better than 100 hurried moments with any of them. And it was worth it. Why don't we do that more often...for no good reason at all? The next party I host is a "no good reason" party. Anybody up for that?

Thanks for coming ladies...and I will get some pretty stuff for the new house!

I typed this blog late last night but decided to save it until today, just in case I didn't have a chance to type up a post for today. Trust me, this was much more entertaining last night....

My blog is feast or famine, a couple days of no posts followed by several in one day...or maybe I'll just save this one and post it tomorrow. Can't sleep...here are the random things floating in my brain.

1) I haven't cooked a real meal since the kids left almost 2 weeks ago...sandwiches, frozen stuff...we did grill once but David did the cooking (or should I say burning...wasn't a good grill night, sorry babe).

2) David's last words to me as he headed to bed were I saw something scary on TV and don't want to go to bed alone...I'm not falling for that, big guy.

3) KC is way overdue a bath...she's very well behaved when I bathe her, but nearly 60 pounds of smelly, wet dog are just no fun. Must be why people have Chihuahuas...you can wash them in the sink and set them on vibrate to dry.

4) I had a nice lunch out with Amy today. I just love her kids. I don't love everyone's kids. I do love hers.

5) I'm out of garbage bags...and I just went to the grocery store. Don't you hate that?

6) I miss David already. Haven't left for FL yet but I feel it in my guts already.

7) I used the men's room at David's work on Saturday (long story)..there were multiple sections of newspaper hanging on the handicap bar by the toilet. Do men clock out to use the john at the office? Really, sitting and reading at work should seriously be considered a break.

One of my very favorite things about working in children's ministry is that the answer is always Jesus...and a very enthusiastic Jesus at that. If you've ever worked with toddlers or preschoolers, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't you love it?! If you don't work with children in this capacity and are confused by what I'm talking about...I'm telling you, I can ask any question and someone, if not everyone, will answer Jesus. Who made your breakfast? Jesus. Who came over for dinner? Jesus. And if I continue to ask, implying they haven't given the right answer, they quickly change their response from Jesus to GOD, yelled at the top of their little lungs. This applies to any question...Who? or What? or How?...the answer is Jesus, or possibly God. I love that about kids. They usually know the "correct" response if they'd just listen to the question. Who built the ark? Who fought Goliath? Who was swallowd by the big fish? They could recall these Bible heroes if they'd take the time to process the question, but they are just so sure the answer is Jesus.

I think Jesus just loves to hear His name shouted in response to the questions asked in preschool circle times all over the world. Are they wrong to always answer Jesus? Maybe it's not just a premature response in an attempt to answer first. What if the world just hasn't had a chance to beat them down or convince them that there are other possible answers. There will come a time when faced with questions, they'll try other answers first. If we've effectively planted seeds of faith, they'll continue to believe He is an answer, but sadly they lose the gut reflex that He's the Only answer. How can we keep them always answering Jesus first? Not a last resort, not when all else fails, not an end of the rope answer...but applying His name to every question, every concern, every problem first. What can I do now to keep them believing that He is always the right answer?

I love my kids all the time, goes without saying. But being separated from them for 12 days has put me in a "they're perfect" state of mind. I know it will take no time to zap me back to reality but for now I am content to watch my slide show screen saver and think only happy thoughts. This pic is from their Christmas visit with the grandparents...chowing down on pizza on the deck with cousins. Seeing it reminds me how much fun they're having making happy memories.

Saturday, Luke went to the aquarium with my brother's family...thanks Uncle Ray and Aunt Becky! On the phone he told me he saw big sharks. A few moments later, remembering this aquarium has an outdoor water play area, I asked, Did you play in the water? He quickly replied, No! I didn't get in that water with sharks! I could just eat him up, much like a big shark. I love that he thought I might actually be asking if he swam with sharks. I have to say that I am so proud of my Lukey. He's my sensitive, shy guy...I guess you could say a mama's boy. I wouldn't have it any other way, but for his sake, I want him to really develop a boldness and comfort to try to new things. He's been so great on this trip without me.

Lily surprises me everytime we chat with a new maturity in her voice and conversation style. She still asks 12 times So, what are you doing? but she's also saying things like "not quite yet" and "lately" in addition to her trademark "actually." She's become very fond of a little dog that's hanging around my parents' house and told me she takes very good care of the dog. Lily cares about the well-being of dogs as much or more than people. Recently she saw a "Missing Dog" sign in our neighborhood and kept an eye out for the dog for days, asking if we could call the number on the sign just to ask for updates and let the bereaved family know we were on the look out.

I'm just rambling now...missing my little ones and counting down the days until I fly down to visit, and bring them home.

I've been "tagged" and until this week, I didn't know exactly what that meant in the blog world... but I caught on quickly. Here's where this tag entered my circle, Carpool Mom, and where I entered the picture, Sweet Tea for Me.

Here goes...

Four jobs -
1. Shoe girl at Bealls
2. Pharmacy Tech
3. Bath & Body Works (spent more than I made)
4. Speech Therapist

Four places I've lived-
1. FL
2. FL
3. FL
4. North Carolina

Four Favorite TV Shows -
1. Grey's Anatomy (my stand out favorite, the rest are just time fillers when needed)
2. Ellen Degeneres' talk show
3. Hannah Montana (yes, I said it, and I'm proud...well, maybe not proud)
4. Dancing With the Stars (when it's in "season")

Four foods -
1. Italian
2. Dad's BBQ chopped pork w/his homemade sauce
3. Mom's pound cake
4. Salad (doesn't seem to fit here, but I do love a good salad!)

Places I'd rather be -
1. with my husband (and now that they're so far, I'd also add my kids!)
2. the beach
3. a hotel...you know I love 'em!
4. asleep

Four movies I love -
1. Return to Me
2. Pretty Woman
3. Bourne movies (Identity/Supremacy)
4. Forrest Gump

Four folks I tag next -
1. Amy
2. Jess
3. Stepanie V.
4. Sarah (don't even know each other...don't ya love it?!)

Tag, you're it!

Oh, and speaking of tags...we finally got our NC tags today. DL yesterday and tags today (only 20 months too late!) But regardless...sand, saltwater, hurricanes, afternoon thunderstorms and humidity (it's not the heat!) are what this girl is made of!

Something didn't go my way. It happens. Nothing earth shattering and at the end of the day we're healthy and cared for, and that's what matters. Just didn't go my way. I've been practicing being "okay" about it and hadn't mentioned it to anyone but David. Really, not a big deal, just didn't turn out like I'd hoped. Today I told a friend, and she cried for me. I didn't cry, I haven't cried. Like I said, I've been trying to be "okay" about it, talk myself out of feeling discouraged or down. But she knows my heart, understood this hurt, and cried for me. Not a sob or an ugly cry, just a feel your pain 'cause I love you teary-eyed kind of cry. After we parted ways I thought, She didn't cry with me. She cried for me. She allowed the tears I had refused.

One of my favorite passages in scripture is in John 11, when Jesus weeps. Not because I love the idea of my Lord weeping, but because it shows His deep compassion. He cries in response to the hurt of another. The best part about it is, He knows what's coming next. He knows the sorrow will turn to celebration in moments when He calls Lazarus out of the tomb, but He weeps anyway. I'm not a Bible scholar so maybe there is deeper meaning to the passage that I'm missing, more to His tears. When I read it, I read it as a Friend weeping over His friend's sorrow. That's the Jesus I serve, and that's the Jesus I saw in my friend today.

Little late with an update this week...if you've kept up with the blog, you probably know that Elevation's biggest news of the week is Summer Blast. This event has just blown me away! I've already blogged about it so I'll just say that, once again, I feel honored yet humbled to be assoicated with what God is doing in this city through Elevation. Our Sunday services continue to pack out and space is once again an issue on the front burner. Please make this a matter of prayer. We know continual outreach is God's will, so we also know He will provide the means to accomplish such.

Personally, I'm as lonesome as can be (sounds like a sad country song one might hear at Summer Blast). Everyone asks how it feels to be child-free...well, I'm missing my babies like crazy, makes my guts hurt to hear their little voices on the phone. But I am not wishing this time away, I know it's good for them, good for me and my hubby. I'm staying busy and tackling big to-do lists, but I've also spent some down time with Baby and Johnny at Kellerman's and a couple of other goofy chick-flicks I'd DVR'd.

First thing in the morning and late at night I am painfully aware of Lily and Luke's absence. Will we do this again? I hope so. As long as the grandparents are up for it, I think it's a wonderful part of childhood to make special summer memories. I can ache with missing them 2 weeks a year, knowing others that love them dearly feel that way 50 weeks a year. They are a joy meant to be shared. And in no time I'll be fussing at them over toys in the hall and food on the carpet.

Two posts back to back...trying to get this one in before the day is over. I wanted to say congrats to my main man, who began a new position at work today. I know he loves when I blog about him so this is better than any ol' Hallmark card.

I could not be prouder of David. I gushed about him less than a month ago for his birthday, so I won't go overboard, but I didn't want this occasion to pass without mentioning how very proud I am of his success.

Tonight I took a few minutes out of my craft team duties to watch the Summer Blast stage production. Bravo! Bravo! I felt like I was at Disney World...I would list names if I knew all of your names, really, a job superbly well done! I found myself singing at the top of my lungs as if I were 8 years old! Loved it, can't say enough about the team of performers.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, Summer Blast is Elevation's first attempt at a summer program for children. And if I may I say so, we are rockin' and rollin' like pros...3 nights of fun, 2 down, 1 more to go. I will honestly be sad when it's over. I'm having a good ol' time in crafts...Chris, I promise we try and keep that music cranked up as much as possible :)

Just a stellar job, everyone. Performance, nursery, snack, games, greeting, check-in, classes, VHQ, decorating, sound and lighting...what am I forgetting? Oh, our fab craft crew! The success is a direct reflection of great leadership...Rachel, Heather, Jessi...you've outdone yourselves.

God is all over that high school.