Some of what I say in this post may not sound very spiritually attractive, but I truly have a heart for women who balance motherhood and ministry so I want to be really honest about this topic. Here are some thoughts on both, and how I found myself in my current area of ministry in this season of life.
When we first became a part of Elevation and everyone did a little of everything, I had one reoccurring prayer, "God please don't let me get stuck in children's ministry. Deal? I mean, God, Your will be done...but...especially not preschoolers!" I'm not kidding, that was the cry of my heart in the very early days of our church. But now, every week at Elevation you'll find me in the Ekidz area. If you have a preschooler, you might just hear my say with an extended hand and a smile, "Hi, I'm Erin. We're so glad to have (insert your child's name here) with us this week." And I mean it.
A few things I need to say: I don't dislike preschoolers, in fact I love preschoolers, happen to live with 2 of them. However, having my own children 12 months apart created a level of fatigue and general disconnect with society, and adding more children to the mix seemed like a fate worse than death. Lily and Luke were just 3 and 2 when we moved here so I was still in a bit of a haze. I've always loved kids, been great with kids, had a career working with young children...but having my own, especially so close in age, really limited my ability to connect with other children. I didn't seem to like them anymore. Really. For starters, I'm with my own 24/7. Why would I choose to spend time volunteering outside the home with other children? But also, I give every emotional resource I have to my little ones, at the end of the day, I just don't have room or resources left for others. Or so I thought.
But here's how I got from "please God, anything but...!" to finding joy in my ministry. God changed my circumstances and my heart, not all at once, but strategically, little by little. I started serving in other areas first and enjoyed them, but knew I hadn't found my sweet spot. I wasn't sure what that might be but there were obvious needs in children's ministry and I began to get involved, slowly. At first I still didn't think children's ministry was my "thing" but I wanted to be needed. Second, God used others to recognize and speak to "dormant" spiritual gifts, and I couldn't deny that I did have giftings in this area. I certainly have off days (as my team could tell you!), but in general I can run a room of snotty-nosed, not-so-potty-trained, Goldfish-gobbling preschoolers like a well oiled machine. It comes easy to me. Don't get me wrong, it's not an easy job, but the required skills come easily, very natural.
Here are a couple other things God has taught me that make all the difference as I commit myself to children's ministry: First of all, big news flash here, the kids don't come for me. Parents don't bring their children to have Erin poured into them. They come for Jesus. So if my emotional resources and ability to "give" is tapped out, good. Less opportunity for me to get in the way. I was getting it all wrong when I thought these children needed or wanted something from me. God gave me two children to be Mommy to, and 50 others to be Jesus to. It's not about my resources, it's about His, and He can't be tapped out. As long as I stay in step with Him, full of Him, I have something to give...Him. Also, and I'm borrowing this from TD Jakes, my misery is my ministry...and preschoolers can definitely be my misery! I know what works and what doesn't, so if how things work and don't work in children's ministry really matters to me, then I need to involve myself in that ministry. Somewhere along the way, I realized that nothing burdens me more than children's issues, nothing. That's my "misery" so it's also my ministry.
At the end of the day, there is nothing more important than a child finding his or her way to Christ. How much pain and searching can we spare our little friends by introducing them to the ultimate Friend early in life? And the children who come to know Jesus through Elevation's Ekidz just might be my own, or so I pray. I should never take this role lightly, but I do. I can make it all about the details...getting the copies made, the messes cleaned...then do it all again next week. Those are times I find myself out of step with God, and I know that to get back on track I must confess my heart and ask Him to renew the joy of my calling and the weight of the responsibility I have to the children and families I serve. I need to feel that weight all the time, it keeps me on track.
It'd be fitting to close this post with the martyr-like attitude that children's ministry is a thank-less job. But you know what? It's not. I weekly have parents tell me what this program means to their child and family. I hear a lot of thank yous. But I would do this even if I didn't, because He is my reward. To serve Him and serve Him well is the desire of my heart, so I should say thank you to those who allow me the opportunity and show me grace and patience along the way. So thank you Elevation Church, Pastor Furtick, Heather, Lindsey, Shannon and our great volunteer team, moms and dads. Thank you.
Balancing motherhood with serving in ministry has been the greatest challenge I've ever faced...that's not being dramatic, it's being honest. Both require 100%, and there is just one of me. To be done with excellence, both require greatness, and I'm just okay. But this is what I know. When I attempt either/or on my own, I fail, maybe not at first, but sooner or later I'm down for the count. When I recognize my limitations and rely on Christ alone, the balance is this: being a mother makes me a better servant, being a servant makes me a better mother. The two do not compete, but compliment, with Christ alone.
When we first became a part of Elevation and everyone did a little of everything, I had one reoccurring prayer, "God please don't let me get stuck in children's ministry. Deal? I mean, God, Your will be done...but...especially not preschoolers!" I'm not kidding, that was the cry of my heart in the very early days of our church. But now, every week at Elevation you'll find me in the Ekidz area. If you have a preschooler, you might just hear my say with an extended hand and a smile, "Hi, I'm Erin. We're so glad to have (insert your child's name here) with us this week." And I mean it.
A few things I need to say: I don't dislike preschoolers, in fact I love preschoolers, happen to live with 2 of them. However, having my own children 12 months apart created a level of fatigue and general disconnect with society, and adding more children to the mix seemed like a fate worse than death. Lily and Luke were just 3 and 2 when we moved here so I was still in a bit of a haze. I've always loved kids, been great with kids, had a career working with young children...but having my own, especially so close in age, really limited my ability to connect with other children. I didn't seem to like them anymore. Really. For starters, I'm with my own 24/7. Why would I choose to spend time volunteering outside the home with other children? But also, I give every emotional resource I have to my little ones, at the end of the day, I just don't have room or resources left for others. Or so I thought.
But here's how I got from "please God, anything but...!" to finding joy in my ministry. God changed my circumstances and my heart, not all at once, but strategically, little by little. I started serving in other areas first and enjoyed them, but knew I hadn't found my sweet spot. I wasn't sure what that might be but there were obvious needs in children's ministry and I began to get involved, slowly. At first I still didn't think children's ministry was my "thing" but I wanted to be needed. Second, God used others to recognize and speak to "dormant" spiritual gifts, and I couldn't deny that I did have giftings in this area. I certainly have off days (as my team could tell you!), but in general I can run a room of snotty-nosed, not-so-potty-trained, Goldfish-gobbling preschoolers like a well oiled machine. It comes easy to me. Don't get me wrong, it's not an easy job, but the required skills come easily, very natural.
Here are a couple other things God has taught me that make all the difference as I commit myself to children's ministry: First of all, big news flash here, the kids don't come for me. Parents don't bring their children to have Erin poured into them. They come for Jesus. So if my emotional resources and ability to "give" is tapped out, good. Less opportunity for me to get in the way. I was getting it all wrong when I thought these children needed or wanted something from me. God gave me two children to be Mommy to, and 50 others to be Jesus to. It's not about my resources, it's about His, and He can't be tapped out. As long as I stay in step with Him, full of Him, I have something to give...Him. Also, and I'm borrowing this from TD Jakes, my misery is my ministry...and preschoolers can definitely be my misery! I know what works and what doesn't, so if how things work and don't work in children's ministry really matters to me, then I need to involve myself in that ministry. Somewhere along the way, I realized that nothing burdens me more than children's issues, nothing. That's my "misery" so it's also my ministry.
At the end of the day, there is nothing more important than a child finding his or her way to Christ. How much pain and searching can we spare our little friends by introducing them to the ultimate Friend early in life? And the children who come to know Jesus through Elevation's Ekidz just might be my own, or so I pray. I should never take this role lightly, but I do. I can make it all about the details...getting the copies made, the messes cleaned...then do it all again next week. Those are times I find myself out of step with God, and I know that to get back on track I must confess my heart and ask Him to renew the joy of my calling and the weight of the responsibility I have to the children and families I serve. I need to feel that weight all the time, it keeps me on track.
It'd be fitting to close this post with the martyr-like attitude that children's ministry is a thank-less job. But you know what? It's not. I weekly have parents tell me what this program means to their child and family. I hear a lot of thank yous. But I would do this even if I didn't, because He is my reward. To serve Him and serve Him well is the desire of my heart, so I should say thank you to those who allow me the opportunity and show me grace and patience along the way. So thank you Elevation Church, Pastor Furtick, Heather, Lindsey, Shannon and our great volunteer team, moms and dads. Thank you.
Balancing motherhood with serving in ministry has been the greatest challenge I've ever faced...that's not being dramatic, it's being honest. Both require 100%, and there is just one of me. To be done with excellence, both require greatness, and I'm just okay. But this is what I know. When I attempt either/or on my own, I fail, maybe not at first, but sooner or later I'm down for the count. When I recognize my limitations and rely on Christ alone, the balance is this: being a mother makes me a better servant, being a servant makes me a better mother. The two do not compete, but compliment, with Christ alone.
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July 27, 2007 at 3:07 PM
Thanks for the encouraging post. I'm in a similar situation in that I work in a church ministry, I serve with teenagers (which is my sweet spot), and am now serving with the kiddos. I used to comment, "Anything but elementary kids..." and I still have those days, but I am realizing the value and potential for amazing growth in the Lord for not only myself, but the kids. Thanks for the great reminder!
July 27, 2007 at 3:11 PM
Thank you too, Erin! You give up a lot of time working with the church and pre-k. It's been great working with you and Shannon and hearing what works for you guys and sharing those ideas. Can't wait for what's coming up! And thank you again for covering this week!