I am on the verge of a good cry. Not a bad cry...not a midst of crisis or tremendous pain kind of cry. Just a good, cleanse my soul kind of cry. The kind that comes from days of being tired, things not quite right but not quite wrong, more to be thankful for than to complain about, wish I was just back at the beach, wonder when life gets easy but very aware things could be much worse...that kind of cry. Anybody know what I'm talking about? My eyes literally feel full, like tears are going to spill everywhere, so I better steer clear of electronics and small children, that kind of cry. And the worship music pumping in my ears from my iPod is like a soundtrack to the ache and puts words to the feelings I can't quite place. Nothing is really wrong, does that make sense? I mean there is a lot going on, and I guess that's what this is about, when life just feels so full that an imperfect body and mind feel weak to face it.

On this playlist: Mighty to Save, Strong Tower, Nothing but the Blood, You Never Let Go...just what I need to remind me that I am not alone. I am limited, finite, exhaustible and days like today I feel just that, but I am actively plugged into an infinite and inexhaustible supply of power. Jesus. I just needed to say His name.

And I'll have my good cry, I'll pour out the poisons I feel stinging my insides and thank God for being such a loving God who knew I would need an outlet for the internal groanings I can't put words to and so He made me able to cry for reasons beyond physical pain. A good cry.