What I want to be...
What I want to be...
When I grow up to be big me...

Words from the well known philosopher, Barney. You can love him or hate him...we were good friends. He stopped by my house daily and entertained my toddlers giving me just enough time catch my breath (or take a shower, put away laundry, make lunch). Barney was the first (and for awhile, only) TV show my kids expressed interest in and they enjoyed him for several years. But I'm off track...

What I want to be when I grow up to be big me...that seems to be the question on my mind (and thanks to Barney it's also a catchy tune). I, for darn sure, hope this is as big as this me gets, but the "what I want to be" part is elusive. For weeks now, I seem to have an itch I can't scratch. An itch I can't quite put my finger on.

Let me say, I am not in a season of dissatisfaction. Taking care of Lily and Luke and David are still my priority, and my joy. My days stay busy with drop offs, pick ups, household duties and volunteer work but also hugs and kisses and lots of laughter. I am not bored or lonely or feeling inadequate. I am however gripped with a feeling that there is something just beyond my view, something with my name on it. It's as if I'm squinting into the horizon almost able to see it but not quite. It feels like it's impossible to find since I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, so I'm hoping it finds me.