I've been ignoring a laundry basket full of clean laundry for about 3 days now. It's been teetering on the arm of the couch, held up by the throw pillows. Folding and putting away laundry is my least favorite chore. And it's so easy to make a pile in a basket and move the basket from place to place to avoid facing it. I'm ashamed to admit that last night as I thought through my "to do" list for today rather than thinking Fold and put away laundry I thought, Move basket to bedroom before small group. Shameful. But this morning, with Luke on one side of the room and me in the kitchen, the basket just toppled over. He looked at me with huge eyes and said "I didn't do it!" and I knew he hadn't. It just spilled. Everywhere. It fell in such a way that clean laundry scattered at least 5 feet in each direction. No way to ignore it now. I had two options, scoop it up and cram it back in the basket, or sit down and sort it, fold it, stack it...address the mess.
I chose the latter. I sat down and made neat piles of folded laundry: a David pile, an Erin pile, a Luke PJ pile, a Luke school clothes pile, a Lily PJ pile, a Lily school clothes pile...even a Molly pile. (Molly is the darling little girl we pass on Lily's clothes to, Luke appreciates Molly taking the too-small girl clothes off our hands so he isn't the recipient!) Anyway, once I began to sort things one at a time the pile didn't feel nearly so overwhelming. It still hasn't made it upstairs, but it will, and it feels do-able.
I often handle my life's messes like my clean laundry. Clean laundry is easy to ignore. It's not stinky or wet, it's available when I need it...I can just stuff it in a basket, hide it when company comes. My life's laundry basket is stuffed full right now: the need for a second income compiled with the mommy guilt of working vs. staying home, low self-esteem, fatigue, wife guilt because of fatigue (you know what I mean?), mistakes I've made lately, guilt over the mistakes I've made lately. This laundry isn't stinky or wet, it's not "dirty," I can excuse away or justify why it's in my life and even soothe myself by saying everyone has this type of mess lying around, "little" messes...manageable, easily hidden, things I can stuff in a basket and move from room to room so that no one sees them.
There are some messes that can't be ignored, like huge carpet stains or a sink overflowing with dirty dishes...those messes I give almost immediate attention because they are not easily hidden from others. They must be cleaned up quickly, but the "little" messes that I can tuck away and keep stuffed down are really just one spill away from being a big mess. Once the big mess happens, I have two choices...sort it out and address each pile or stuff it back in the basket. I've done a little of both in the past. But what if, I begin to recognize the warning signs of a basket on the verge of a spill...tears that come too easily, trouble falling asleep, trouble waking up, a sharp tongue, a feeling of distance. Better yet, what if I never let things make it to the basket, what if I just put them in their place from the start?
I have yet to find any mess in my life that God doesn't want to help me sort, fold and put away. He isn't my genie in a bottle, I can't wish away my troubles...but I can take each pile to Him and seek His help in sorting it out. Some piles are easily sorted, others take more time. But just by dumping out the basket, bringing each to light helps the mess feel less overwhelming.
Growing up in a little baptist church, I used to memorize my weekly Bible verse on the very short drive to church so I could regurgitate the words in Sunday School and earn a sticker. Now I know why God wants His Word hidden in my heart and real scripture memorization is so important. So many of my messes find root in my feelings. My feelings are not truth. My feelings can be deceptive. If I trust my feelings, I continue to fill up a basket of mess until it spills all over my floor, and effects everyone around me. His truth cleans up messes, puts them in their place.
If I want to prevent a spill, I need to sort out my basket. Right now I've got a big pile of guilt in my basket: guilt over not working, guilt over potentially working, guilt over stupid mistakes, guilt, guilt, guilt. I'm like David in Psalms 38 My guilt has overwhelmed me, like a burden to heavy to bear. But the book of Hebrews tells me I have a great high priest (Jesus Christ) and I can draw near God with a sincere heart with full assurance and can be cleansed from a guilty conscience. So that pile I should always take straight to God. Doesn't need to go in a basket for further sorting, wallowing, self-loathing...doesn't need to be neatly folded and put in a drawer for me to wear later. He paid for that pile. And I move onto the next pile - fatigue. This pile is a little different. This pile needs some sorting. Through His truth I must filter what in my life needs to be eliminated, what needs to be revised, what needs to be done differently. He offers rest and strength so I can be certain my continual fatigue is not what He wants for me, and I shouldn't ignore it. If I start with His truth, I can begin to clean up the mess. And so on, and so on.
I chose the latter. I sat down and made neat piles of folded laundry: a David pile, an Erin pile, a Luke PJ pile, a Luke school clothes pile, a Lily PJ pile, a Lily school clothes pile...even a Molly pile. (Molly is the darling little girl we pass on Lily's clothes to, Luke appreciates Molly taking the too-small girl clothes off our hands so he isn't the recipient!) Anyway, once I began to sort things one at a time the pile didn't feel nearly so overwhelming. It still hasn't made it upstairs, but it will, and it feels do-able.
I often handle my life's messes like my clean laundry. Clean laundry is easy to ignore. It's not stinky or wet, it's available when I need it...I can just stuff it in a basket, hide it when company comes. My life's laundry basket is stuffed full right now: the need for a second income compiled with the mommy guilt of working vs. staying home, low self-esteem, fatigue, wife guilt because of fatigue (you know what I mean?), mistakes I've made lately, guilt over the mistakes I've made lately. This laundry isn't stinky or wet, it's not "dirty," I can excuse away or justify why it's in my life and even soothe myself by saying everyone has this type of mess lying around, "little" messes...manageable, easily hidden, things I can stuff in a basket and move from room to room so that no one sees them.
There are some messes that can't be ignored, like huge carpet stains or a sink overflowing with dirty dishes...those messes I give almost immediate attention because they are not easily hidden from others. They must be cleaned up quickly, but the "little" messes that I can tuck away and keep stuffed down are really just one spill away from being a big mess. Once the big mess happens, I have two choices...sort it out and address each pile or stuff it back in the basket. I've done a little of both in the past. But what if, I begin to recognize the warning signs of a basket on the verge of a spill...tears that come too easily, trouble falling asleep, trouble waking up, a sharp tongue, a feeling of distance. Better yet, what if I never let things make it to the basket, what if I just put them in their place from the start?
I have yet to find any mess in my life that God doesn't want to help me sort, fold and put away. He isn't my genie in a bottle, I can't wish away my troubles...but I can take each pile to Him and seek His help in sorting it out. Some piles are easily sorted, others take more time. But just by dumping out the basket, bringing each to light helps the mess feel less overwhelming.
Growing up in a little baptist church, I used to memorize my weekly Bible verse on the very short drive to church so I could regurgitate the words in Sunday School and earn a sticker. Now I know why God wants His Word hidden in my heart and real scripture memorization is so important. So many of my messes find root in my feelings. My feelings are not truth. My feelings can be deceptive. If I trust my feelings, I continue to fill up a basket of mess until it spills all over my floor, and effects everyone around me. His truth cleans up messes, puts them in their place.
If I want to prevent a spill, I need to sort out my basket. Right now I've got a big pile of guilt in my basket: guilt over not working, guilt over potentially working, guilt over stupid mistakes, guilt, guilt, guilt. I'm like David in Psalms 38 My guilt has overwhelmed me, like a burden to heavy to bear. But the book of Hebrews tells me I have a great high priest (Jesus Christ) and I can draw near God with a sincere heart with full assurance and can be cleansed from a guilty conscience. So that pile I should always take straight to God. Doesn't need to go in a basket for further sorting, wallowing, self-loathing...doesn't need to be neatly folded and put in a drawer for me to wear later. He paid for that pile. And I move onto the next pile - fatigue. This pile is a little different. This pile needs some sorting. Through His truth I must filter what in my life needs to be eliminated, what needs to be revised, what needs to be done differently. He offers rest and strength so I can be certain my continual fatigue is not what He wants for me, and I shouldn't ignore it. If I start with His truth, I can begin to clean up the mess. And so on, and so on.
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October 3, 2007 at 4:06 PM
Excellent.