What if...

Yesterday I decided to wrestle with a beast I've been ignoring for too long: medical bills. On our desk sits a pile of them. I should probably be embarrassed to casually admit that. Ah, well. Some date back to our very first months in NC when job changes left gaps in insurance coverage (wouldn't you know, kids get sick no matter how you lecture them about eligible dates of service), and the most recent bills, the heavy hitters...Lily's ER visit for a late night asthma attack and Luke's surgery. Uggghhh. Between the larger hospital and physician bills, and the smaller radiology services, pathology services and who-knows-what-else-services, the stack is pretty intimidating...and my checkbook less than accommodating. But ya know, it is what it is, just a stack of bills. Praise God for modern medicine, praise God for clean hospitals and health care facilities, praise God for well trained physicians, praise God for jobs with health insurance. And I don't meant those praises to sound cliche...seriously, praise be to God. With all that's wrong with America and our health care systems, I'm thankful to live in this country. Amen.

Our largest paper monster is Luke's surgical bill from the hospital. Even with insurance. Ouch. But as I stare at it, all itemized and formal, I can't help but recognize that today, in black & white, 7/16/2008 is just a "Date of Service" on a Statement of Benefits. And though my "Subscriber Responsibility" is far more than I care to pay, 7/16 is just another bill to be paid. That's all. And that's wonderful. Because a few months ago 7/16 felt like a weight on my chest and a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart too big to ever fade away to the size of a piece of paper on my desk. But there it is, in convenient envelope size. No more knot in my stomach. No more lump in my throat to choke back tears.

The days and hours leading up to Luke's surgery were so hard. So. Hard. And the time he was away from us, under the care and scalpel of strangers, whew. Tough. But the moment his limp, anesthetized little body was placed in my arms in recovery, it all went away. And the hurdles ahead seem so small, so manageable, even the bill. 'Cause a bill is just a bill. And my children are priceless. And my husband who paced a hole in the carpet of the waiting room, priceless. And my mom who traveled all this way to help, priceless. And the family and friends who cried with me, called in those early morning hours, texted through the surgery, prayed heartfelt prayers and reassured this anxious mommy, priceless. And the God who is the same God in sickness and in health, wow, priceless hardly seems sufficient. Immeasurable.

The day I heard Luke might need surgery, a treasured friend offered a prayer of shalom on Luke's behalf. Shalom, nothing missing, nothing broken. Later, when it was confirmed that indeed something was broken, and after surgery, something would be missing, I felt so disillusioned with the idea of wholeness. But today, with a healthy, happy kindergartner, oblivious to the fact that he's any different from anyone else, I am very aware that wholeness is of God, and no scalpel or word ending in "-ectomy" can take that away. And 7/16 is now just a bill on my desk.

Saturday our little foursome dined at Red Robin for the first time. Mmmm, good burger and bottomless fries. A little pricey for my budget (I hate spending more than 2.99 for a kids meal, so 4.59 for a meal that will only be picked at is hard to swallow). Regardless, I had a revelation while waiting for my meal...there are two kinds of people in the world, those who look at the front of the coloring book and those who don't. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about, a few may need explanation, if so, you're probably the latter.

For reasons I can't explain, David and I were coloring on the kids' menu coloring pages. Red, the restaurant mascot was involved in a variety of sporting events on the mini-book. I carefully reviewed the full-color front of the book and began coloring him accordingly. I do this with all coloring books. If there is a specific character, I need him/her to be exact. As I flipped back and forth to carefully review Red's jersey, shoes and socks, I noticed David was coloring in Luke's book. To my dismay, he was not reviewing the front of the book. He was casually coloring Red's white-with-yellow-trim jersey green. With a grimace I said, Please tell me you'll at least color Red, the red robin, red. Nope. A few seconds later I hesitantly peered over to find a purple bird. But only the arm. And he was done. Colored the shirt and only one arm, incorrectly at that, and then stopped. Just the thought makes me cringe.

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who want need to be right, follow the rules, by the book, to the letter. Those who find comfort in control...and those who don't. Maybe they color Daphne's outfit red, even though every episode of Scooby Doo shows it to be purple. Or maybe they color Boots the Monkey brown, as most monkeys would be, although a quick glance at Nick Jr. would show him to be pastel. Or maybe they color the Red Robin mascot, named Red, purple...and then don't even finish.

I'm not making a judgment call as to which is better. In fact, I wish I was more easy going, less rigid, more go-with-the-flow...I wish only the big things in life captured my full attention to detail and the little things, like kid's menus, were approached with a free, haphazard spirit. I wish, but it ain't happening...cause there are two kinds of people in the world, and I'm a look at the front of the coloring book kind of gal.

Today I feel like I'm living in Winne the Pooh and the Blustery Day. It's windy, it's rainy and my house is full of characters!
I guess I'd have to be Pooh. I do love to know where my next meal is coming from, I'm the roundest in the house and my heart is probably bigger than my brain.

Luke would have to be Piglet. Not only is he the smallest in our clan, he's rather worrisome. Once he spent an entire rainy evening in my lap so he could hold onto my neck in case of flood. He decided since he doesn't know how to swim, he'd better stay close to a floatation device. And yes, as Pooh would do for Piglet, I reassured him that I could indeed hold both of us up if it flooded.

Lily is our Rabbit. Knows it all. Her way is the right way, the best way, the only way that makes any good sense and she'll tell you if you ask, but she'd really just as soon be left alone. She doesn't eat vegetables but she could probably tell you how to have the best garden in town.

Can you guess what role David has played in our blustery day? Yep. He's our Eeyore. Just hanging around the house. Not much to say. Ate his breakfast standing over the stove because the straight-from-the-microwave bowl was too hot to carry to the table. Wait for it to cool?... nah. Use a pot holder?...nah. Solutions galore, sure. But he'd rather just stand at the stove.



Stay dry on this rainy, blustery day. I think I'm off to hibernate!

Our dynamic duo! (Looks like I have two sons, but don't tell Lily I said that!)

Luke's in the center, looking very skillful...but my favorite part of this picture is the guy in gray (to the right) who's taking his team mate to the "gun show" when he should be playing some defense!

...unless by "misery" one is referring to David and his ongoing battle with a severe poison ivy reaction. In that case, misery wants to be left the heck alone. He's red, swollen, and itchy...uncomfortable, sleep-deprived, and irritable.

I can empathize. Not because I too just battled hell's ivy (my rash was peanuts compared to his) but because I was a sufferer of PUPPPs (can I get an amen Desi and Amy?). Add the total discomfort of a 9 month pregnant body to the worse itch you can imagine and you've got PUPPPs. But back to David, my empathy only goes so far. I can't fix it for him, and honestly, I think he's tired of me trying.

Ugggghhhh. We may never go outdoors again.

Luke is having a much better week this week, I hope the tearful days are behind us. He even used the word "awesome" to describe a game he'd played in gym yesterday, even though he later denied using such a positive word in association with school. A few minutes ago, he gave me this little nugget...

Luke: I was at the home living center and George was at blocks and I wanted to be with George so I skipped a center. Now George and I will be together at center time for the rest of our lives!

Me: Is it okay to skip a center? What did your teacher say?

Luke: She doesn't even know! (chuckling as if he'd pulled off the crime of the century)

Me: Well, as tough as your first two weeks were, I bet she'd just be happy to know you're happy.

...and jinxed my husband, shoulda knocked on wood I guess. Just a few days after I posted that he didn't get poison ivy, he ended up with a much more severe case than my own. I haven't had much experience with poison ivy, but his arms look worse than most of the pictures I've found online. You know you've got it bad when you beat out "google images." Yuck. One night we even searched the closet for a long sleeve shirt that he could wear to bed because his arms were grossing me out a little a lot and it was putting a damper on our romance ;) ...is that TMI? He's had a steroid shot and is on day 3 of a prednisolone dosepack, and he's looking a little better but not as much as we'd hoped. I feel so bad for him, and he's probably as sick of hearing me ask "Are you okay?" as he is of being sore and itchy. I still have some annoying lingering patches myself but I try to limit my complaining because he has certainly one-upped me in the poison ivy department. He's missed a day of work, he's not sleeping well at night...he's pretty miserable, and I can't stand that I can't fix it for him. I am fixer - and this is really testing me. I would seriously consider asking a few friends of faith to lay hands on the poor fellow if I weren't pretty sure that no one would really want to touch him. :(

So maybe this will only be meaningful to 7 other women, but oh, how meaningful it will be...

14 minutes for a chicken wrap - "pee"bodies - sharks? - rough water - 10 cents for ice - Mamaw has a bluetooth - no likker - convention on the beach - Poi-son Iiiiivy, Poi-son Iiiiiiiiiii-vy - what's a concrete? - ice cream spoon in the garbage - lean in and be bendy - not too scared to sleep downstairs - prophecy on the bathroom walls - 2012 - "nationwide" power outage - Is it 10am yet? - Britts - out of ink? - so flexible you could tie me in a knot - cockeyed - Mustafa - "I c'n do da butterfly" - shagging on the street corner - mozarella stick divided by four - You have a brother!? - Was that him on that bike?!? - jaywalking - why are there so many cops? - 3 times a week ;) - van door in the backseat - read another question - time to kick your neighbor - "we need to stop" - 10/4 good buddy - Gaarrrannger - "That's a really nice mop"

I'm still laughing friends! And ya know there are a few other words I could throw in (a couple new ones I learned!) but I think I better stop to keep the blog's G-rating. :) And Teri, if you really took notes, you better burn them!

Hiatus - a period of time where one is on a break.

I've been on a little hiatus. From my blog. My email. My kitchen. My laundry. My kids. My husband. My home. My responsibility. My life.

I've never done a "girls" weekend getaway before, so months ago when chatter began about a beach weekend in September, the thought was certainly appealing but it seemed too good to be true. I've gone away for conferences and retreats and the like, but never a no schedule, no agenda, no note taking, just-for-the-heck-of-it girls weekend. Wow. All I can say is...can I have another? And soon. I truly can't remember the last time I laughed so hard and often, the last time I ate 7 consecutive meals without cutting up someone else's food, the last time I was awake until the wee morning hours with no emergency room involved, the last time I played in the ocean like a kid without watching for a kid. Good times. Good times. It would take way too long to even scratch the surface of why this getaway was so great, why it's timing was perfect for me, why I almost didn't make it, why I did make it, why the dynamics were so healthy, why I love the other women so much...I'll just sum it up by saying, it was really fun. Real. Fun.

What if...I went an entire month without talking about my cute hubby?

Just wouldn't be me.

Two things that make him extra special this month...

First, he grew a goatee for me. Blinked and missed it? Yep, it's gone. He kept it about a week. I really liked it but he couldn't get used to the feel of it. David grows facial hair like he's been drinking Dr. Growmore's Magic Hair Elixir. He started the goatee one day and by the next afternoon it was needing a trim (almost!). Fast. But really thick and coarse and he just couldn't get into it. Saturday night he said he'd keep it one more day. I think he celebrated the end of the Daniel fast by shaving it off before dinner Sunday night...so he wouldn't lose any of the good food to his face!

Second, he's helping coach Lily's soccer team. Soccer is one of the few sports that David hasn't played before and knows very little about. That's what makes this so great. I love that he's willing to step out of his comfort zone for the love of a 6 year old girl! She was so excited to have him out on the field with her and you could tell he brought the "dad" experience to the team. The lead coach knows the necessary skills but because she's so young the kids weren't taking her direction too seriously. David was able to keep them in line. I think we're in for a fun season!

So D, for giving the goatee a try and joining a first grade soccer team...you're the man, and a clean shaven man at that!

Yesterday my suspicions were confirmed and the rash on my forearms that I've been calling "the funk" is indeed poison ivy. I didn't know I'd handled ivy of any sort, much less the poisonous one, I still don't know what the plant looks like and I'm not sure how David worked twice as hard and twice as long in the yard and didn't manage to get in to it, but with all my unanswered questions, the itch remains. I've been treating it with cortisone cream but after waking up this morning to itch gone wild, I made run to Walgreen's for some good ol' calamine lotion. Ahhhhhhh. Instant relief! As I type this, I'm feeling fine, and if it weren't for the pink gunk all over my arms, I'd forget all about it. The label says to apply only three to four times a day, but surely that's too conservative. If I could afford enough bottles, I'd fill my tub and soak in it...
Cal gon amine, take me away!

Making new friends is something I hadn't had much experience with until I moved here. In Florida, all my friends were old friends, people I'd known for what felt like my whole life, and I know that at one time all my old friends were new friends but there's comfort in not remembering when that was. Making new friends has proven to be more complex than I thought. Relationships take time, investment, and emotional resources that I'm not always prepared to give. But like most worthwhile causes, true friendship is worth the effort.

With that said, I've been spending time this morning thanking God for some of the new friends He's brought into my life over the past couple weeks, like Ezekiel and Honey. Ezekiel and I don't see rye to eye on some things, he can be so dry, but he's certainly added some substance to my life. Now Honey and I, well, we just stick together. She is so sweet and makes the absolute best cup of all natural decaf tea. I love to spend my mornings and evenings with her, very comforting. I've been ashamed to admit that although I've known Honey for awhile, I never thought she had much of a place in my life. I'd really underestimated her ability to bee so versatile.

In friendships, it's really tough when you feel like the third wheel, but just imagine my pleasant surprise when I found out how well Ezekiel and Honey get along with one another. I'm not jealous at all, in fact I love how they've warmed up to each other!

I have a feeling that in a few days, a rift may form between me and my new friends. Next week, I'll have some old friends coming back into my life and that can put a strain on new relationships. I doubt Ezekiel and my old friend Sara Lee will have much in common. He's a little too dry for her taste. But Honey, I'll be keeping her close. We may not see each other quite as often when Juan Valdez is back in town, but I know she'll always be there for me when I need her.

You may remember my Fightin' Mad post from last month. If you missed it, I vented a little about my frustration towards someone who had disrespected my husband. Today, those same emotions came rushing back to the surface when Luke told me that a classmate had called him an ugly name. My anger was short-lived, I found myself laughing instead. Here's why:

Lily: Just show her to me tomorrow Luke. I'll walk you to class, you point her out, and I'll beat her up.

(Don't worry, I immediately interrupted and spoke against the threatened violence!)

Lily: Okay, well, you still show her to me...I'd like to have a little talk with her.

Luke: No Lil. I want Mom to go have a talk with her, not you.

Lily: Don't worry Luke. I can handle it. I know some biiiiiig words.

I'm not exactly sure what "big" words she's talking about. I'm a little afraid to ask. Knowing her, they may be the 4-letter kind. Regardless, I find it extremely endearing that she's so protective of him. I'm glad a shy guy like Luke has a not-so-shy big sister like Lily. I have a feeling as close as they are, they'll fight one another's battles a time or two in years to come. And it's always nice to know someone's got your back.

Other readers may be over the back to school pics, but I know the grandparents can't get enough so here's another. This one is from Tuesday, Luke's official first day of kindergarten. The pic is deceiving, the smile quickly faded, but we survived. And each day will get better, I hope.