Warning: this will not be the most uplifting or spiritually accurate thing you read today (at least I hope not)!
I started my day off right. Had my cup of coffee and somewhat unhurried quiet time: read scripture, did a day in my Bible study, and confidently prayed for God to speak to me about some very specific issues. I even emailed my husband a spiritually uplifting email. I then filled the next several hours with "godly" things: volunteered at the church office, kept a friend's children for her to help a friend in need...you know, good stuff. Well, it's eight-ish and I haven't heard a thing from God. And at about 5pm things just went south. So I the end this day less sure than I started it, even though I convinced myself that getting the right start would ensure the smooth finish. That's probably where my trouble started, I know better than to approach God with such an if-then attitude. I know better and yet I find myself doing it all the time...quiet time first and I'm certain to catch more green lights, quiet time first and the mail will yield an unexpected surprise, quiet time first and I won't yell at my kids or husband, quiet time first...and maybe just maybe I'll be a fraction of the girl I think I'm supposed to be.
But no luck today. I've settled into a strong "my turn" pity party to round out the evening, which is my least favorite hat to wear...when is it my turn to buy a really great Easter outfit, when is it my turn to have a day off, when is it my turn to do something really fun and spontaneous, when is it my turn to be anything but dependable ol' Erin with a hole in her pants??...which really stinks because I have very few pants and don't have the luxury to run out and buy new ones...but now I feel guilty for being upset about a dumb pair of pants when some people don't have any pants at all...there are pant-less people in the world, folks...so why am I complaining?
And I fed my entire family sandwiches for dinner...in front of the TV, Sponge Bob no less (and he says words like stupid, butt and idiot). Seriously.
Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Moral of the story? Ha. There isn't one. And I'm not in any deep, dark place (just visiting), so don't worry Mama :). I'm just wishing that there was a formula for the perfect day because I've always been good at formulas. Abstract crap, like life, that's what messes me up. Okay, so my blog won't be winning the "Moms That Love Jesus and Cook Real Dinners" award but I plan to sleep a little better because of it. And tomorrow is a new day.
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
I started my day off right. Had my cup of coffee and somewhat unhurried quiet time: read scripture, did a day in my Bible study, and confidently prayed for God to speak to me about some very specific issues. I even emailed my husband a spiritually uplifting email. I then filled the next several hours with "godly" things: volunteered at the church office, kept a friend's children for her to help a friend in need...you know, good stuff. Well, it's eight-ish and I haven't heard a thing from God. And at about 5pm things just went south. So I the end this day less sure than I started it, even though I convinced myself that getting the right start would ensure the smooth finish. That's probably where my trouble started, I know better than to approach God with such an if-then attitude. I know better and yet I find myself doing it all the time...quiet time first and I'm certain to catch more green lights, quiet time first and the mail will yield an unexpected surprise, quiet time first and I won't yell at my kids or husband, quiet time first...and maybe just maybe I'll be a fraction of the girl I think I'm supposed to be.
But no luck today. I've settled into a strong "my turn" pity party to round out the evening, which is my least favorite hat to wear...when is it my turn to buy a really great Easter outfit, when is it my turn to have a day off, when is it my turn to do something really fun and spontaneous, when is it my turn to be anything but dependable ol' Erin with a hole in her pants??...which really stinks because I have very few pants and don't have the luxury to run out and buy new ones...but now I feel guilty for being upset about a dumb pair of pants when some people don't have any pants at all...there are pant-less people in the world, folks...so why am I complaining?
And I fed my entire family sandwiches for dinner...in front of the TV, Sponge Bob no less (and he says words like stupid, butt and idiot). Seriously.
Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Moral of the story? Ha. There isn't one. And I'm not in any deep, dark place (just visiting), so don't worry Mama :). I'm just wishing that there was a formula for the perfect day because I've always been good at formulas. Abstract crap, like life, that's what messes me up. Okay, so my blog won't be winning the "Moms That Love Jesus and Cook Real Dinners" award but I plan to sleep a little better because of it. And tomorrow is a new day.
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
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March 19, 2008 at 9:20 PM
If nothing else, your presence in the office always makes two people's day that much better. Thanks for your encouragement today. I'm praying for you.