When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. Proverbs 10:19


I didn't intend for these areas of submission to be in any particular order, but this one is indeed the most significant for me. I have a smart mouth. And a stupid temper. The two can be a dangerous combination. What I lack in physical strength (and trust me, I lack), I make up for in a biting tongue. I can find the chink in David's armor, and aim my sharp words right for that spot. I can. But submission means choosing not to. Everytime? Sadly no. But more and more each day. If my call to submission is a call to empower David, any words I use to weaken, defeat, embarrass, frustrate, guilt or belittle him, even the words that just chip away little by little, are contrary to my own calling. Not just words spoken to David, but words spoken about him to others as well. He's not the only one that suffers; I do as well as I reduce myself to a "less-than" wife when I employ such tactics. The illusion of power that is obtained in the moment is fleeting, but the consequences are lasting. As I gain better control of this area, I consciously choose to bite my tongue, sometimes literally, as I feel the temptation for useless words to spill out. Something that helps stop me dead in my tracks is thinking through role reversal, how would I feel if I heard those words from him, or if I heard someone else say them to him? I want to end this point by saying, I'm not necessarily talking about extremely ugly or abusive language. In general, I've always known better than to cross that line with my husband. For me, taming my tongue has been more about the use of sarcasm, judgment, criticism, manipulation, bringing up past mistakes, "venting," or making demands.



Pleasant words are honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24


On the subject of words, a call to submission is not just a call to withhold the negative power of my tongue, but it's also a call to daily use my words to have a postive impact on my husband. If I'm having a bad day and I see David unloading the dishwasher, I may be tempted to withhold a simple thank you. I think to myself, "I do 100 things a day I'm not thanked for, why should I thank him?" Submission is recognizing that my words of gratitude and encouragment should not be "tit for tat." Or maybe it's not quite so malicious, maybe with the busyness of life, I just let the day slip by without telling him how handsome I think he is or how much I appreciate his how hard he works. But you know, as his wife, I may be the only person on earth who speaks a kind word to David on any given day. It's not his coworkers responsibility, and in a secular workplace, it's certainly not a priority. I don't know about you, but that's a responsibility I don't take lightly.