Before we moved to North Carolina, we lived just two houses down from my parents. You might think living that close is how you really get to know someone, and at the time, I probably thought the same. But move 600 miles and you'll find your viewing lens becomes larger, your vantage point grows, and as it turns out, the distance enables you to see more, to know more. To know better.
In the past 3 years, I have seen far less of my parents, and I know them all the better for it. I know they will travel 600 miles for a sick grandchild. For that matter, I know they'll travel 600 miles for a healthy grandchild, too. My dad will burn every second of his vacation time to spend time with our family here, or there, or anywhere in between. My mom will rearrange her schedule to be here for a birthday, or a surgery, or turn her quiet, "empty-nest" home upside down for weeks at a time for the kids to have an extended visit. My parents are not wealthy, and they will do without if it means they can do for us. And they have. Many times.
Not long after we moved out of the home two doors down from my parents and into a two bedroom apartment in NC, my parents came for a visit. One night as they were crowded in the kids' bedroom, with both kids of course, I listened in at the door. I heard giggles, and I love yous, and singing; then more giggles, and more singing. And in that moment a sadness I'd been carrying inside for months, a fear that my children would not have a close relationship with their grandparents, just melted away. Right then and there, I understood that the change in quantity of time did not have to mean a change in quality of time. Only, as it turns out, the quality did change, for the better.
Whether it was an unspoken commitment they made in their hearts, or a decision they sat down and made together, sometime in my parents' 30th year of marriage, they realized they had a new challenge to face: a 600 mile hurdle. Would they, could they, continue to build and maintain a relationship with their grandchildren? Children who had lived just two doors down. Children who now lived 600 miles away. Would the emails and phone calls and photographs and holidays and weekend trips and summer visits ever be enough? It would have to be.
Yesterday was my parents' 34th wedding anniversary. There are so many things I could say about their 34 years of marriage. Imperfections of course, funny stories galore, strange habits and oddities no doubt. Or I could applaud them for their amazing example of Godly generosity, love, and selflessness. I could praise them for their commitment to marriage and family, and the lessons David and I have learned. But tonight, feeling overwhelmed by the passage of time, and how fast my little ones have grown in our years here, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude.
Mom and Dad, for seeing the distance between us as a challenge, not an insurmountable obstacle, and rising to that challenge beautifully, thank you. Happy Anniversary.
In the past 3 years, I have seen far less of my parents, and I know them all the better for it. I know they will travel 600 miles for a sick grandchild. For that matter, I know they'll travel 600 miles for a healthy grandchild, too. My dad will burn every second of his vacation time to spend time with our family here, or there, or anywhere in between. My mom will rearrange her schedule to be here for a birthday, or a surgery, or turn her quiet, "empty-nest" home upside down for weeks at a time for the kids to have an extended visit. My parents are not wealthy, and they will do without if it means they can do for us. And they have. Many times.
Not long after we moved out of the home two doors down from my parents and into a two bedroom apartment in NC, my parents came for a visit. One night as they were crowded in the kids' bedroom, with both kids of course, I listened in at the door. I heard giggles, and I love yous, and singing; then more giggles, and more singing. And in that moment a sadness I'd been carrying inside for months, a fear that my children would not have a close relationship with their grandparents, just melted away. Right then and there, I understood that the change in quantity of time did not have to mean a change in quality of time. Only, as it turns out, the quality did change, for the better.
Whether it was an unspoken commitment they made in their hearts, or a decision they sat down and made together, sometime in my parents' 30th year of marriage, they realized they had a new challenge to face: a 600 mile hurdle. Would they, could they, continue to build and maintain a relationship with their grandchildren? Children who had lived just two doors down. Children who now lived 600 miles away. Would the emails and phone calls and photographs and holidays and weekend trips and summer visits ever be enough? It would have to be.
Yesterday was my parents' 34th wedding anniversary. There are so many things I could say about their 34 years of marriage. Imperfections of course, funny stories galore, strange habits and oddities no doubt. Or I could applaud them for their amazing example of Godly generosity, love, and selflessness. I could praise them for their commitment to marriage and family, and the lessons David and I have learned. But tonight, feeling overwhelmed by the passage of time, and how fast my little ones have grown in our years here, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude.
Mom and Dad, for seeing the distance between us as a challenge, not an insurmountable obstacle, and rising to that challenge beautifully, thank you. Happy Anniversary.
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May 4, 2009 at 1:27 PM
Thank you very much.
I love you, Dad
PS. Does this mean now you won't put us in a nursing home?
May 4, 2009 at 2:58 PM
I think that distance only makes the heart grow fonder sometimes when it comes to kids and grandparents.
Just wanted to let you know that I am glad that you are in my life! I love talking to you and reading your blog. You always make me smile.