What if...

Dear Lily,

Your dad and I owe you an apology. We really wish we could do it (or in this case, not do it) all over again. In hindsight, it's hard to even imagine that we had such a lapse in jugdment. Just proof that everyone, even grown-ups, make mistakes.

When I walked into the house Saturday, after several hours of early morning yard work, and announced that we had to go for a ride with Dad, I was really surprised at your over-the-top reaction. I believed your tears and dramatics were the result of being up too late the night before, and awake to early the morning of...one of the pitfalls of sleepovers. Now I accept that your reaction was indeed most likely the result of our destination. The county landfill. The dump. Daddy and I made you ride to the dump.with.a.friend.

It didn't really dawn on me until we were there, sitting in the truck, noses plugged, gagging and dry heaving, eyes watering from the stench...what had we done to you? Had we really brought your friend to the dump,and not just a little satelitte site...but the big county landfill? How we could be so foolish? Are we trying to ruin your social life at an early age?

To add insult to injury, your dad and I looked like we belonged on the cover of Dirty Digest. My yard working clothes covered in debris and soaked in dew. Your dad's clothes, covered in dirt and soaked in dew and sweat. Uggghhh. Not our finest moment.

I have to say you and Abbs really made the best of it. Once the initial shock wore off, your attitude improved and I think we managed to even make the trip fun. If that's possible. And we certainly got a good laugh on the way home as Daddy and I tried to put ourselves in your shoes and imagine how we would have felt if our parents had done the same. In fact, it's pretty easy for me to imagine, it totally sounds like something your Pa would have done.

I can't promise that your daddy and I won't embarrass you in the future. In fact, I can almost promise you we will. But I assure you, we will never again coincide our once a year landfill trip with a sleepover.

We owe you one baby. Love ya.

Once upon a decade ago, my older sister and I got a little bit hooked on the soap opera Days of Our Lives. We would crack up at how off-the-chart ridiculous the subject matter was and how overly dramatic John Black's eyebrow expressions were...but we tuned in every day at 1pm never the less. That was just a short-lived season of NBC soaps...growing up CBS soaps were on in the house. To this day, when I go to Florida and sit in my Grandma's living room, I can take about 3 minutes and catch up on what Reva and Josh have been up to in the past decade. Everything changes, but oh, how everything stays the same.

You don't have to watch soaps much to know that when a leading lady throws her arms around the neck of her ex-husband's-evil-but-newly-reformed-twin brother and says, "Life is so wonderful, nothing can ever come between us now!" that trouble is on the horizon (conveniently scheduled during sweeps). It's Rule #1 in soap-land, the minute you utter a joyful expression...it's about to hit the fan.

So I approach this post with a little hesitancy, I'm about to break a big soap-world rule. But since I've been married to the same man for 10 years, both of my kids have the same daddy and David doesn't have an evil twin, I'm optimistic that we'll be fine.

Okay, so here goes...we are having a great week. I know by tomorrow morning I may start a post with the line "I spoke too soon..." but I'm going to throw caution to the wind and stop right now to take a moment to be thankful. Lily has made such a smooth transition to first grade, she's going to bed and waking up easily and she's even letting me fix her hair each day with no complaints (that's a BIG deal!). Sure it's only been 4 days, but 4 days are better than nothing, so pardon me while I do a happy dance! And Luke was so excited when he came home from school Tuesday and can't wait to go back...again with the happy dance. With both kids out of the house Tuesday, I worked around the house like I was getting paid, finished several projects that I'd been putting off and had things in great order when everyone returned home, that's an awesome feeling and it's freed me up to be more playful when the kids are home.

Last but not least, today is day 11 of the Daniel Fast, we've halfway through and it's going really well. I don't want to sound like the biggest cheese puff, but I've seriously felt a renewed sense of joy in preparing meals for my family and out of necessity I've been creative and resourceful, and it's very rewarding. As I've fasted and prayed and focused on things other than myself, God has truly done a work in my own heart and for that I'm thankful. Dinner times at our house had gotten pretty ugly over the past few months. The kids fussing, David calling to say he'd be working late and me staring into the freezer wondering what I should cook. But with the fast, meals require more thought and advance prep so I'm not waiting until the most stressful time of the day to start working on dinner, and it's been good kick in the butt for me.


Load all of this into a week that's topped off by a long holiday weekend, and I am one happy camper.

Once a week, Lily goes to the allergist's office to get "build up shots," one in each arm. The shots are small doses of the things she's reactive to, allergic, in hopes that she will build a tolerance. She's doing great, we've learned to live with and appreciate the value of those small doses.

I'd never heard of staggered entry until I moved to NC. Here, kindergartners go only one day of the first week of school. They're introduced to the teachers, the school, the lunchroom, and given general assessments before being divided into classes.

I see staggered entry as my small dose. My build up. My opportunity to develop a tolerance for something I have a strong reaction to: my baby growing up. I'm allergic: a saline solution oozes from my eyes and I toss and turn at night. I'll admit that this year has been better than last. Last summer I began fretting about Lily starting kindergarten the day she finished preschool. This summer, more often than not, I've felt very excited for Luke. Excited he's going to get to ride the bus with the big kids. Excited he'll have opportunities to blossom without me or Lily right on top of him. Excited he'll get to play with boys his own age and do rowdy, smelly boy things. But let's not get too carried away with the excitment. This is my last baby, and he's entering school. School, an entity with enough influence to rival my own, and one day, it's influence will surpass my own.

So back to small doses. Thank you Lord for small doses. Build up #1: Lily started first grade today. Build up #2: Drop Luke off on his staggered entry day (tomorrow morning). Build up #3: Luke spends almost a full day at school and rides bus home. Build up #4: Luke spends rest of week home (allowing me to better adjust to getting up at 6 a.m. without tossing and turning at night thinking about kindergarten). Build up #5: Long weekend to recover. Build up #6: Next Tuesday, Luke's official first day of school, but Lily's second week so she'll be pro. Final test: Getting both kids to "big school" and coming home to an empty house.

You may be surprised to hear this, but the little girl in the picture, the 6 year old who started first grade today...well, I just gave birth to her yesterday. I swear, it was just yesterday.

Dear Aunt Lisa,

We have been begging our mommy to put Katelyn and Elly's picture on her internet. (That's what we call her blog.) Last time we talked, you asked us to show you a picture and trust us, we wanted to follow through right away, but that mom of ours is a little slow these days. "In a minute" or "right after I finish this" are usually what we hear. Moms, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

By the way, hope you have a great birthday today! We heard you had to work. Bummer. Birthdays should be holidays. Wish we were there to eat cake with you, bet you have lots of candles to blow out. Mom said you're as old as our dad. We think that is pretty old. But you don't have gray whiskers like he does, that's good.

Eat a big piece of cake for us, and for our mom and dad because they're eating all kinds of healthy food lately, so they'd probably love to share your cake! We heard Mom say, Thanks a lot Daniel, as she put tofu in the grocery cart today, but it doesn't really sound like she's very thankful at all. Go figure.

Happy Birthday! We love and miss you,
Lily, Luke, Katelyn and Elly

Today is our last day of summer vacation. Sure we have the weekend ahead, but we'd have the weekend anyway, so I consider today, Friday, to be our finale. And last night was Lily's Open House, so it's official, summer is over. Most consider Labor Day to be the unofficial end of summer, I consider the elementary school Open House to carry that weight. Time to wash up the new school clothes and add lunch-packing items to the grocery list. We are now on the other side of summer vacation, the "where did it go?" side.

If I had to sum it up in one word, I'd say "surgery." 2008, the summer of surgery. Luke had surgery, Ella had surgery, Lauren had surgery, Alana had surgery. Am I forgetting anyone? My friends and I did our part to ensure pediatric surgeons across the city don't feel the pinch of an economic recession. But along with the sarcasm, I'll say in all sincerity, the other side of summer brings 4 healthier children. Praise the Lord.

The other side of summer: Lily is blonder, tanner and taller. She's mouthy to her mama but more affectionate with her daddy. She's dreading the Monday alarm clock but walked around the school last night like she owns the place, so I know she's ready. Luke has a fresh batch of freckles and is as tan as a fair-skinned red head can hope to be. He's also more mischievous these days, which is trying his best gal's patience (me). But he's also conquered his fear of haircuts, whew. I've only heard one "I don't want to go to kindergarten" this entire summer, and, God is good, we ran into one of his preschool friends yesterday and found out she'll be at the same school (crossing my fingers for same class)! It's amazing how much a familiar face can mean, even if it is a girl.

Big sigh as I say goodbye to late nights and sleeping in. Bigger sigh as I say (through gritted-teeth) hello to lunch boxes and the alarm clock.

Once upon a time, I was a voracious reader. High school, college. I didn't read text books, sometimes didn't even buy them...but popular fiction, ahhh, that I could read. I remember snuggling up in my big chair with a John Grisham novel and finishing it in one sitting, into the wee morning hours. Then I had kids. For the life of me, I can not finish a book anymore. I can start one, oh, I can give it the ol' college try....but I can't seem to finish to save my life.

All that to say, I started yet another new book a few days ago. It's called The Prayer That Changes Everything ~ The Hidden Power of Praising God, by Stormie Omartian. I have several of her books on my shelf, but again, have struggled to finish any of them. But what I find is that even the few chapters I make it through provide pieces to the puzzle, connect the dots for something God is doing in my life, so I keep reading for a season and then for whatever reason, stop reading for a season. This book and accompanying prayer journal were given to me by my mom as we headed out the door from Florida on our last visit. We always make a catch-all bag as we leave (this time it was a box) ...for the toothbrush that was left in the bathroom, the hair barrette on the nightstand, the shoe pushed under the sofa, the DVD left in the player...all those little things that don't make it into the suitcases...and this book made it into my catch all box. I'm a little ashamed to admit that for almost 2 months, that box has been sitting in my dining room, untouched. Until Tuesday morning, when for no explainable reason other than the compelling of the Spirit, I suddenly thought of the book, rummaged through the box, and started reading. Again, I think different things are meaningful for different seasons, and for this season, this book is really connecting some dots for me. And I'm being intentional about applying it to my life...and I'm seeing results.

Yesterday's reading brought me to this list that I just had to share. It's simple, we've probably all heard something similar before, but it spoke volumes to me (especially #9) so I wanted to share...

Ten Things God Never Says:

1. Oops!
2. What have I done?
3. How did I let that happen?
4. I made a mistake.
5. It was an accident.
6. I don't know what to do.
7. I'm afraid of what will happen now.
8. I can do better than this.
9. What do you think I should do?
10. Why didn't I think of that.

When Lily stepped outside to let the dog out this morning, she said, Oooohhhh, it's cold out here.
It's 65° outside.

Luke wore a hoodie to the store late yesterday, said it was "cool" outside.
It was about 76°.

You can take a kid out of Florida, but you can't take Florida out of the kid!

And speaking of Florida kids...one of our very favorites has a birthday today, Happy 15th Cody! Wish we were there to celebrate with you, we miss you so much! Look for a card in the mail sometime next month, I just can't get my act together in the card mailing department :)

It's 11:15 pm...playing a little Webkinz, watching some Olympic swimming...with Lily here beside me. She's having trouble sleeping and said, I just don't know what's wrong with my body. It won't let me sleep.

Hmmm. Maybe that's the Mountain Dew talking.

Before my name hits the "Bad Mother" ballot, let me say that Mountain Dew at dinner and late nights playing games on the computer are not the norm around here (at least not for the kids!). But before ya know it, summer will be over, the alarm will be set for a quarter past way-too-early, and Lily and I won't have the luxury of hanging out on the sofa watching some late night TV.

She just found an episode of "Family Matters" (think Steve Urkel) on Nick at Nite and said, I think this is a new one. Funny.

The laundry is swishing and swooshing in the background...

The dishwasher is unloaded, reloaded and the sink is empty...

The smell of Pine-Sol is in the air, the sticky tea spill a distant memory...

The coffee is in the pot, ready to pour...

The blog has a new post...

and it's not even 9am!

If I can keep this pace, I may have the hardwoods waxed, broken toilet fixed, rose bushes trimmed, school shopping finished, toenails painted, emails returned and dinner cooked before 10am!

Happy Monday everyone.

My mother, and most avid "What if" reader, was having trouble reading my posts since I'd changed the format. I think the faux-textured background and smaller font were the culprits. Her last words to me on the subject were, "Don't change it just for me," but I'm pretty sure my mama cares more about what I have to say than most, so why not change it for her? I played around with the template a little to get the posts off the textured background...and I upped the size of the font, since, in her own words, she's blind as a bat.

Happy reading, Mama.

So I expected my little angry post to be a form of therapy for me, you know, get it off my chest. And it worked, just venting about my feelings helped me work through them. Thanks for listening.

Now what I didn't expect is to get so many friends up in arms. From texts that included censored words (like so: *#$! ), to suggestions of looking the guy's address up and going to his house(seriously!?), my female friends have rallied for my cause (i.e. my husband's honor) in an unexpected way. Mild-mannered mommies turn angry mob. What are we gonna do...give him one heck of a time out?

Thanks gals. But simmer down now!

Okay. Can I live in the flesh for just a minute? I need to vent. I will indeed repent a little later, and I'll mean it, really. But not just yet.

Someone said something rude about my husband. And I am fightin' mad. I don't really even know the guy. But I have met him and I do remember what he looks like so he better hope our paths don't cross, 'cause I'm mean. Just ask my kids.

Honestly, it wasn't a horrible comment, not really even an attack on him as a person. Just an unwarranted, ignorant, rooted in this dude's own insecurity kind of comment. But it makes me so mad because it's David. My David. Do you know my David? He isn't ever rude to others, nor does he critique others based on his own insecurities, so being the recipient of such is unjust. I can be a little catty at times. I've been known to rub people the wrong way. There are certainly aspects of my personality that I don't even like, so I can only imagine others feel the same. But David is, well, he's David. He's not perfect, but he's Pretty.Darn.Great. And I take offense to him being offended.

There you have it. My 3 minute rant. Read it quickly because chances are when David reads this post he'll request I remove it, which I will submissively do. I may even remove it myself when I've cooled down. But in the mean time, I'm a little perturbed and this is my platform. Sorry. Check back later for silliness and sunshine :)

And if I could have this guy's audience for just a minute, I'd say: Shame on you, (insert name here...and not his name, but an ugly name...maybe even a wash-my-mouth-out-with-soap name)...you're not worthy to even speak David's name, much less do so in a derogatory way. And watch your back. I may have to forgive you and move on, but David is where he is and got what he got because of the Lord's favor, and I wouldn't want to be the one running my mouth about that. I'm just sayin'...that's dangerous territory. Locusts and frogs, fella. Locusts and frogs.

Today I attended a baby shower for the sweet Joye girls, who will be home before Ferris and Wade can say "We need a nap!" It was fun to watch Ferris open each cute onesie, footie-sleeper, blankie and bootie...not once but twice! But Ferris wasn't the only one receiving a gift today...I came home to a clean house! Wow! Remember that Trashed post from early in the week? Well, the week flew by and many of the messes never seemed to disappear. With the kids at home all day, it's hard enough to keep up with the new messes much less tackle the existing ones. It seemed like we could only move the piles to new locations. I planned to tackle the biggest disaster, our bedroom (which becomes the catch-all), this afternoon...but I came home from the baby shower to an already CLEAN house! I felt like I was being showered with gifts...gifts of shoes in shoe baskets, clothes in hampers, dishes unloaded, and a neat and tidy bedroom. Wow, what a gift! Thanks David!

There it was on my cell phone this morning, in black and white: AUG 1

Really? Is it August already? I was well aware that July was flying by, but still, AUG 1 really took me by surprise. This is the month Lily goes to first grade. This is the month Luke starts kindergarten. This is the month I have two school age children and no more babies at home. This is the month the alarm goes back to a 6 a.m. wake up. This is the month bedtime goes back to 7:30 p.m. giving David and the kids a grand total of ONE HOUR together each day. This is the month that "hurry up!" and "c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" become the morning melody.
Big sigh.

Any chance I could start a petition for August to be on hold for a few weeks?

Anyone?

Bummer.